If you've been watching ABC on Thursday nights, or simply just breathing like the rest of us, you should know all about what I currently think is the BEST show on TV...period. Yes, I am talking about ABC's hit Thursday night series, Scandal, starring Kerry Washington. This show is written so beautifully that it makes you sit at the edge of your seat...and question your entire system of values every week.
How is it that Shonda Rhimes manages to get me to go against everything I believe in when I watch this show? If you're a Scandal fan, then you know what I mean by this...Fitz and Liv are too hot for TV. The man is literally the most powerful man walking this earth, but in her hands, he turns into putty...and I love him for it. Did I mention he's married? Did I mention he's not married to Liv? He's the president; he has a wife; and a kid, with a baby on the way.
In real life, this would disgust me. In real life, it HAS disgusted many of us--think Bill Clinton.--and it wasn't even on such a "scandalous" level. Ah, but when it comes to Olivia Pope and President Fiztgerald, I want them to win...we ALL do!!! The internal conflict I experience when watching this show between my romantic side (rooting for their intense attraction, passion, tension to take over and give them their happily ever after. He's married, yes. But he deserves better. Olivia? Well she just deserves it all), and my moral side (rooting for them to stop this madness, and for him to keep it in his pants because I know it's wrong, even if the wife Millie knows...even if he's in love...it's still wrong). In real life, I would call Olivia Pope a homewrecker in seven different languages, and Fitz would be a dog in the least favorable aspect of the word. Ah yes, Mr. President! You, sir, would be the lowest of the four letter words I could come up with.
But on ABC at 10 PM on Thursdays, Olivia Pope is a goddess! President Fitzgerald is a man in love, and my heart breaks for their imprisoned love...I ache for their feelings to find liberation...and I pray for Millie to just disappear already! (not in a bad way, just pick up and move to Brazil.)
At 10 PM on Thursdays, I am ashamed and proud to say, that I want Liv and Fitz to win! I want infidelity to win!
And if you've watched this show for more than half a minute, you know you do too!
Hanging my head up high,
Lady G
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
The Truth About Romance: What Your Florist Won't Tell You
Romance. A simple word that resonates differently with the sexes. For women, it can represent love, affection, consideration, admiration, commitment, desire, etc. We love to be romanced and to romance just as much. For men? Typically, there are three different kinds of reactions to the word. Some men find it useful weapon; mastering it makes it that much easier to get many to fall for them...simultaneously. The better they are at romance, the quicker it is to reach the objective of sex and move on to the next conquest. For another group of men, it may as well be a four letter word. They
cringe at the thought and tighten the grip on their wallets when they
smell it flying about. The same group of men that will avoid sitting for a RomCom with his partner for fear that they may get "crazy ideas" that he can't afford. Fortunately, there are some (and they are out there) for whom romance is a tool they use for good, to show their partners they appreciate them and value them. These men, especially if they're married, have discovered the secret to romance...are YOU ready for it?
Often times, romance costs nothing more than your regular expenses, and IS NOT a "special occasion" kind of gesture.
I know, I know...major WTF moment! Romance? Nothing? Who is this chick? But yes it's true. Contrary to popular belief, romance does not only happen on Valentine's Day and Anniversaries. Romantic gestures can happen as often or as seldom as you want them to. Hint: women tend to prefer spontaneous, unexpected romance.
Additionally and most importantly, romance can be rather inexpensive. While movies and soap operas do tend to exaggerate romance, but so what? It's for entertainment...EVERYTHING IS EXAGGERATED! Are police chases and fight scenes accurately depicted in action movies? No! And men, you have enough sense to grasp that concept and separate it from reality. Believe it or not, many (if not most) of us, can do the same with romance..separate the surreal from the real. As a woman with so many friends and dating stories to go along with it, I can tell you that so many of the things we find romantic are nothing short of ordinary to the outside world. Examples, you say? Okay, I won't leave you hanging.
1. Replace her favorite pack of gum when she's running low. Women love it when you pay attention to what they like, and to what they need. It lets us know you're taking care of us, even in the little ways. COST: $.99-$2.00
2. Have dinner ready when she gets in from a long day. Sometimes men take for granted when they have a woman who does this everyday for them. So if you're home early, start dinner/order dinner and greet her with a kiss. This shows us you acknowledge our hard work and recognize when we need a break. COST: $0.00-$25
3. Change the oil in her car. Again, we like it when you think about and anticipate our needs. Yeah we could ask, but it's better if you take the initiative. COST: $20-$30
4. Light scented candles while she's in the shower. If she's into candles, she probably has plenty lying around the room. It will be a nice surprise to come out to from a shower. The room smells great and there's mood lighting. COST: $0.00
5. Pick up a movie she's been dying to see. Yes, even that we consider romantic. As much as we love to watch Fast & Furious 3 times a day, sometimes we just need a little Bradley Cooper in our lives. Indulge us, won't you? COST: $1.00- $15.00
6. Rub her feet/Offer a massage. These are things that we may ask for, especially if we need it; but when you offer, it will feel so much better. That alone will be enough to take away the stress of our day.
COST: $0.00
7. Kiss her a little longer than usual. Sometimes it's all we need. A few extra seconds that tells us you still want us, just as much as you did in the beginning. COST: $0.00
8. Take her on an unexpected drive to watch the sunrise/sunset. There's something about showing us that you want to begin and/or end a day with us in your arms while witnessing such a beautiful sight. Yep, we're sappy but we love this stuff. COST: $0.00
9. Pick up a"just-because" card on your lunch break. It doesn't even need to be mushy. Sometimes a card that makes her laugh with an inside joke we share with you is enough. It shows us you were thinking about us, even in the middle of a busy day. $2.99-$5.99
10. Be creative! If you know us even a little bit, you know what makes us tick, what lights a smile in our hearts. Our favorite chocolate bar, a 2013 puppies-themed calendar, the bottle of wine we like to keep in stock.COST: You determine
These are all small gestures that I or friends of mine have experienced, and have validated with the statement. "He is so sweet/romantic/thoughtful!" Yes, in our minds, that's romance. Flowers and candy, champagne and strawberries, weekend getaways, Spa treats, etc., are all grand ways to show us that you care, and we love when you do it. But we don't need them everyday, and 9 times out of 10, we don't need the extravagance.
I hope it goes without saying, but romance is a two-way street. Take care of each other and it will fall into place.
Always,
Lady G
Often times, romance costs nothing more than your regular expenses, and IS NOT a "special occasion" kind of gesture.
I know, I know...major WTF moment! Romance? Nothing? Who is this chick? But yes it's true. Contrary to popular belief, romance does not only happen on Valentine's Day and Anniversaries. Romantic gestures can happen as often or as seldom as you want them to. Hint: women tend to prefer spontaneous, unexpected romance.
Additionally and most importantly, romance can be rather inexpensive. While movies and soap operas do tend to exaggerate romance, but so what? It's for entertainment...EVERYTHING IS EXAGGERATED! Are police chases and fight scenes accurately depicted in action movies? No! And men, you have enough sense to grasp that concept and separate it from reality. Believe it or not, many (if not most) of us, can do the same with romance..separate the surreal from the real. As a woman with so many friends and dating stories to go along with it, I can tell you that so many of the things we find romantic are nothing short of ordinary to the outside world. Examples, you say? Okay, I won't leave you hanging.
1. Replace her favorite pack of gum when she's running low. Women love it when you pay attention to what they like, and to what they need. It lets us know you're taking care of us, even in the little ways. COST: $.99-$2.00
2. Have dinner ready when she gets in from a long day. Sometimes men take for granted when they have a woman who does this everyday for them. So if you're home early, start dinner/order dinner and greet her with a kiss. This shows us you acknowledge our hard work and recognize when we need a break. COST: $0.00-$25
3. Change the oil in her car. Again, we like it when you think about and anticipate our needs. Yeah we could ask, but it's better if you take the initiative. COST: $20-$30
4. Light scented candles while she's in the shower. If she's into candles, she probably has plenty lying around the room. It will be a nice surprise to come out to from a shower. The room smells great and there's mood lighting. COST: $0.00
5. Pick up a movie she's been dying to see. Yes, even that we consider romantic. As much as we love to watch Fast & Furious 3 times a day, sometimes we just need a little Bradley Cooper in our lives. Indulge us, won't you? COST: $1.00- $15.00
6. Rub her feet/Offer a massage. These are things that we may ask for, especially if we need it; but when you offer, it will feel so much better. That alone will be enough to take away the stress of our day.
COST: $0.00
7. Kiss her a little longer than usual. Sometimes it's all we need. A few extra seconds that tells us you still want us, just as much as you did in the beginning. COST: $0.00
8. Take her on an unexpected drive to watch the sunrise/sunset. There's something about showing us that you want to begin and/or end a day with us in your arms while witnessing such a beautiful sight. Yep, we're sappy but we love this stuff. COST: $0.00
9. Pick up a"just-because" card on your lunch break. It doesn't even need to be mushy. Sometimes a card that makes her laugh with an inside joke we share with you is enough. It shows us you were thinking about us, even in the middle of a busy day. $2.99-$5.99
10. Be creative! If you know us even a little bit, you know what makes us tick, what lights a smile in our hearts. Our favorite chocolate bar, a 2013 puppies-themed calendar, the bottle of wine we like to keep in stock.COST: You determine
These are all small gestures that I or friends of mine have experienced, and have validated with the statement. "He is so sweet/romantic/thoughtful!" Yes, in our minds, that's romance. Flowers and candy, champagne and strawberries, weekend getaways, Spa treats, etc., are all grand ways to show us that you care, and we love when you do it. But we don't need them everyday, and 9 times out of 10, we don't need the extravagance.
I hope it goes without saying, but romance is a two-way street. Take care of each other and it will fall into place.
Always,
Lady G
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Mama Mia!
Emily Dickinson once wrote that a Mother "is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled." Barring a few exceptions to this rule, I'd say that is a fairly accurate depiction of a mom. They tend to be selfless, take care of us until we stop wanting it (even beyond that point), and generally bring a comforting and peaceful feeling to mind. I can go on for paragraphs talking about the wonders of a mother; but, alas, today's discussion is not about mom, but rather about the men (and I use the term loosely) whom they raise and prepare for the world. You should know by now that I'm not one to generalize, so yes, I am indeed speaking of a very specific kind of man: the one society affectionately coins a "Mama's Boy".
For those of you unfamiliar with the term--outside of the rock/heavy metal band featured above-- you can usually spot a "mama's boy" by the following trademark behaviors:
One sure way to know if you're stuck on the "A Song for Mama" track of Boyz II Men's album with no escape route in sight, is by asking yourself one question. When discussing the way you treat him, or his desires in that department, does it seem like he's looking for a second mom instead of a lover/mate/partner/? I say "second" mom, as apposed to a replacement one, because there is a subtle difference. The man looking for a replacement mother likely grew up deprived of her presence, or the kind of relationship he longed for, so he's looking for you to fill that void. I say beware of both potential disasters, but that is of course my personal take on the matter...to each his own!
Interestingly enough, what I slowly realized while listing the signs above, is that I have encountered more men who display at least ONE of the characteristics than men who do not. Does this speak to my choice of men? Probably. What I gathered from it--however attributed to a heavy dose of denial it may be--is that a good portion of men have a hint of "Mama's boy" in them. Some are more blatant (the one who brings her on your blind date to make sure she approves), and others are subtle (a minimum of 2 or 3 phone calls per day to mommy dearest). I can deal with baggage, everyone has it. But at the end of the day, it seems like this is the mother of all issues, and I can't help but ask myself, "am I a mother-lover lover? Or is every man a mama's boy? Can I coexist with an unhealthy "mother-son relationship" in a healthy romantic one?
I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this one...words of wisdom are always welcomed, and commiseration always appreciated!
Always,
Lady G
For those of you unfamiliar with the term--outside of the rock/heavy metal band featured above-- you can usually spot a "mama's boy" by the following trademark behaviors:
- He consults with his mother before ANY decision...life-altering decisions, as well as ones about which shoes to wear to work
- He's 30+, and she still does his laundry...every weekend!
- He has more pictures of him and his mom on outings and vacation than with lovers and friends.
- He often says things like "my mom is my best friend".
- He compares almost everything you do (cooking, cleaning, kissing)---okay, hopefully not the kissing because that is a new set of problems you don't have the therapy hours to dedicate to.
- He says a version of this on the first date, "I can't wait for you to meet my mom. I hope she likes you because if she doesn't, this won't work. Maybe we should go over now. We can have dessert at her place instead."
- He gets rid of shirts his mom doesn't like seeing him in, even if YOU bought it!
One sure way to know if you're stuck on the "A Song for Mama" track of Boyz II Men's album with no escape route in sight, is by asking yourself one question. When discussing the way you treat him, or his desires in that department, does it seem like he's looking for a second mom instead of a lover/mate/partner/? I say "second" mom, as apposed to a replacement one, because there is a subtle difference. The man looking for a replacement mother likely grew up deprived of her presence, or the kind of relationship he longed for, so he's looking for you to fill that void. I say beware of both potential disasters, but that is of course my personal take on the matter...to each his own!
Interestingly enough, what I slowly realized while listing the signs above, is that I have encountered more men who display at least ONE of the characteristics than men who do not. Does this speak to my choice of men? Probably. What I gathered from it--however attributed to a heavy dose of denial it may be--is that a good portion of men have a hint of "Mama's boy" in them. Some are more blatant (the one who brings her on your blind date to make sure she approves), and others are subtle (a minimum of 2 or 3 phone calls per day to mommy dearest). I can deal with baggage, everyone has it. But at the end of the day, it seems like this is the mother of all issues, and I can't help but ask myself, "am I a mother-lover lover? Or is every man a mama's boy? Can I coexist with an unhealthy "mother-son relationship" in a healthy romantic one?
I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this one...words of wisdom are always welcomed, and commiseration always appreciated!
Always,
Lady G
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)