I've been thinking a lot these past few weeks about what constitutes an unhealthy relationship (don't ask). The basis for any relationship should never be a need, but rather a want. Am I crazy or is that just common sense? I know they say that love is synonymous to insanity, but does it mean you have to literally go insane and lose the person you are? I mean, don't get me wrong, I've been in some unhealthy situations myself, so I'm not passing judgment. but when relationships with family and friends start taking, not just a backseat, but a ride-in-the-trunk to your relationship, then something is seriously wrong. When the only hours of solitude you have are the ones where you're at work (and driving to and from)...when you're no longer able to discuss your love life with your friends, because your love life never leaves you for long enough to think about it...when your phone, bbm, text messages, etc., ring every 10 min from the same person...enough has to be enough. I understand more than anyone what it's like to be in love and want to be around a person all the time, but here's the keyword in that statement...WANT, not NEED! The minute your relationship starts to reach Bella & Edward status (I don't like twilight, but it's the most unhealthy and appropriate reference I can think of), then your relationship might need reevaluating. NEEDING each other may seem romantic at the early stages, maybe even harmless...but there is almost never comes to a screeching halt at this point; chances are you will become more co-dependent as time goes on, and your relationship will take a turn for the pathetic (I'm sorry, but it's true). Romance novels, hallmark cards, fairy tales and almost every kind of media will have us believe that love, although indescribable at times, can almost always be equated to a feeling of urgent dependency upon another soul. With movie quotes like "You're my air" and "you complete me", who can blame us right? I mean it can't get any more romantic than telling someone that they complete you...but the danger lies in the truth of the statement. If another being's presence in your life is indeed required in order for you to feel whole, then you can never be a whole person without them, and you probably never were...which then begs the question, what the heck do you know about loving someone anyway if you couldn't even love yourself completely enough?
Frankly (and if you know me at all, you know this), I am no expert on love. I've been in it, but certainly haven't mastered it. How could I? Apparently I'm still on the hunt for the person who can complete what's already whole...don't wait up for this one!
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