REAListic Romantic: Equations of Love?

I had an epiphany this week...I am no longer 16! I know what you're thinking, "almost 9 years later, it hits her?". But what I mean is that the version of myself in love at the tender age of 16 ceased to exist a long time ago, and I guess that's the point of experience. At 16, my perception of love included an idealism that leaves not judgment in my heart for those who still possess it, but rather sorrow. At 16, I believed love was the answer to my prayers, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and the winning lottery ticket, all rolled into one. Once I have it, I'll be unstoppable. It will help me cure cancer and end world hunger, because yes...it's just THAT powerful.

Furthermore, what it consisted of was a simple formula, unwavering, unvaried, like the quadratic formula. If someone didn't fit that picture of what I believed was an image sketched in weatherproof paint, then it can't be right. If you asked me what I wanted in a man, I could almost always explain with the same precision of qualities and actions that would define the perfect man. Interestingly enough, I was almost never attracted to what I described. My most successful experiences with love have been with those who've shaken my beliefs, and helped me explore another side of my made-up benchmarks...NOT the down side, just a different side! Of course I can understand why...at 16, I only had other people's experiences with love...and by "people", I mean actors!

Based on what they taught me, I absolutely knew the secrets to the perfect relationship, and it included excessive acts of romance by the hour, a multitude of intimate moments by the day, sprinkled with some mutual crying sessions (because every time we listen to a song and look in each others' eyes, we burst into tears due to the overflow of powerful emotions)....good grief! Don't misunderstand me, I am STILL a romantic, but a more realistic ones these days. I am not a cynic, I just know that often times, the one you think you want is not the one you need in your life. And if you don't open yourself up to that possibility, you can lose out on something real, something based on love, mutual respect, attraction, consideration, the insatiable need to make each other smile, and the will to make it work. Everything else is like garnish...great to look at but doesn't add to the meal itself.

Don't call me a cynic, I'm just a realist! :)