http://abcnews.go.com/US/aspiring-musician-sugar-baby-seekingarrangement-pay-tuition/story?id=15356704&page=2#.TxOkCYHcB2A
I know what you're thinking...why oh why must we go there? This kind of relationship has always been sort of a taboo topic in our society. The "daddies" are ashamed of the fact that they have to pay for companionship, and the "babies"--though typically more candid about their arrangements--are still criticized due to their seemingly "poor" choices. But is it really that black and white? In a time where the cost of living is going up, unemployment rates are rising nationwide, young woman find themselves on the market with a a great deal to offer, including a nice healthy portion of STUDENT LOANS, everyone's favorite side dish. The truth is, before you even make it to the "start" tile on the "Game of LIFE", you start off with a deficit. As a woman, the options are already limited (YES, even in 2012). So what's a young gal to do?
The way I see it, these women are taking matters into their own hands (no pun intended). There is a vast difference between dating an older man under false pretenses and then using him for money, and entering into this kind of arrangement: EXPECTATIONS! In this relationship, no one person is being swindled or used. Two consenting adults enter into an arrangement with expectations already laid out on the table. If you ask me, there's more honesty found in that union than most conventional ones. Between the fake physical attributes women bring to the table and the hidden baggage men carry in their back pockets, first dates are almost always attended by our representatives. So in the end, who has the better deal?
Now the more important question: Would I date a man for the proverbial "sugar" he might offer? If you asked me before college, I would've likely answered "absolutely not" with a slightly judgmental tone. If you ask me 50K in Student Loans later? The answer is probably still "no", mainly because I'm not attracted to men who could be my father. However, I have developed a level of admiration for young women like "Pixie" who opt for a different option, one where they graduate debt-free, and start out in life with the upper-hand. It takes guts to get past the moral barriers, the judgmental stares and whispers, and the family and peer pressure, and it commands nothing but respect from me. Although I'm sure plenty of people see it differently, it's good to know that these "mutually beneficial" relationships are taking small strides towards societal acceptance...or at the very least, TOLERANCE.
Until next time...
Always,
Lady G
9 comments:
Wow...I had no idea how open the topic has become. I feel like the next step is for the cougars and cubs to come out. In any case, there is nothing wrong with a consensual relationship for money. Even if sex is involved, (people have sex for free all the time).. Plus there are some sexy 40 and 50 men out there...at the end of the day, we do what we have to do to avoid or combat struggle because not everyone has mommy and daddy with the checkbook open..
Haha, I couldn't agree more. I may not be bold enough to try it (as much as I joke about it), but I say "more power to you" to those who do it. We have sex for what we think is "free", but really it's for attention, for love, for gifts, for dinners, for trips, for validation...how different is that really?
Now, I have borrowed "sugar" from my neighbor in the past and it was difficult because nobody ever told me about the "costs" involved. Anytime money is the foundation of a relationship, the control becomes one-sided at best. It takes a very manipulative person to keep up the pace and also not lose your sense of self worth. However, with the state of relationships/society in general I can understand why people resort to borrowing some sugar! Also love how you incorporated being in debt before you even start the game! Great post G!
Girl, you are so right about that. I always wish I had in money to borrow sugar, but somehow I always knew about those hidden fees. Thanks for the feedback :-)
While I can appreciate the need to stabilize yourself financially, but if you have no problem with this, you shouldn't have a problem with call-girls either. A personal service is being provided in exchange for money, only difference is the taboo that mankind has attached to sexual intercourse, which leads us to accept one behavior more than the other. I personally have no problem with either, but if you have a problem with one, I don't think you should agree with the other.
while I totally get your point of view, but who said anything about not supporting prostitution? The two are not one in the same because one comes with a component of violence not present in an arranged relationship. One is typically a one-time ordeal while the other one is a longer-term arrangement. Let's not forget the most important difference: prostitution is exploitative at its core, benefiting mostly the pimps and the receiving party and leaving the "pros" with short-end of the stick. If a woman ventures out on her own to take it on, I still don't advise it due to the lack of screening, but at least she's not being exploited.
Now Gregg is referring to call girls, not the street level crap you'd find on Hunts point in the Bronx or on Frelinghuysen ave in Newark. We're talking Elliot Spitzer-like service here. There's no real element of violence or exploitation there. Instead of going out as "independent consultants", they have to rely on a "business development dept." to drum up customers. Only difference is sex is the main part of the discussion. And to Gregg's point, the nature of the business transaction is pretty much the same.
Well if we're talking "call girls", then I support them too. As long as there's no pimp exploiting them, they do what they want. I don't, however, support the married pigs who use their services.
I totally agree with Gardy and Greg. You cannot support one and turn a blind eye to the other, but these student loans do have a sistah looking for a Schwartz, Goldsmith, Cohen, Katz, and other 401k, black card, Yarmulke (aka Yamaka) wearing sugar daddy. Mazel Tov to all the sugar babies out there getting their $. :-)
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