Romance. A simple word that resonates differently with the sexes. For women, it can represent love, affection, consideration, admiration, commitment, desire, etc. We love to be romanced and to romance just as much. For men? Typically, there are three different kinds of reactions to the word. Some men find it useful weapon; mastering it makes it that much easier to get many to fall for them...simultaneously. The better they are at romance, the quicker it is to reach the objective of sex and move on to the next conquest. For another group of men, it may as well be a four letter word. They
cringe at the thought and tighten the grip on their wallets when they
smell it flying about. The same group of men that will avoid sitting for a RomCom with his partner for fear that they may get "crazy ideas" that he can't afford. Fortunately, there are some (and they are out there) for whom romance is a tool they use for good, to show their partners they appreciate them and value them. These men, especially if they're married, have discovered the secret to romance...are YOU ready for it?
Often times, romance costs nothing more than your regular expenses, and IS NOT a "special occasion" kind of gesture.
I know, I know...major WTF moment! Romance? Nothing? Who is this chick? But yes it's true. Contrary to popular belief, romance does not only happen on Valentine's Day and Anniversaries. Romantic gestures can happen as often or as seldom as you want them to. Hint: women tend to prefer spontaneous, unexpected romance.
Additionally and most importantly, romance can be rather inexpensive. While movies and soap operas do tend to exaggerate romance, but so what? It's for entertainment...EVERYTHING IS EXAGGERATED! Are police chases and fight scenes accurately depicted in action movies? No! And men, you have enough sense to grasp that concept and separate it from reality. Believe it or not, many (if not most) of us, can do the same with romance..separate the surreal from the real. As a woman with so many friends and dating stories to go along with it, I can tell you that so many of the things we find romantic are nothing short of ordinary to the outside world. Examples, you say? Okay, I won't leave you hanging.
1. Replace her favorite pack of gum when she's running low. Women love it when you pay attention to what they like, and to what they need. It lets us know you're taking care of us, even in the little ways. COST: $.99-$2.00
2. Have dinner ready when she gets in from a long day. Sometimes men take for granted when they have a woman who does this everyday for them. So if you're home early, start dinner/order dinner and greet her with a kiss. This shows us you acknowledge our hard work and recognize when we need a break. COST: $0.00-$25
3. Change the oil in her car. Again, we like it when you think about and anticipate our needs. Yeah we could ask, but it's better if you take the initiative. COST: $20-$30
4. Light scented candles while she's in the shower. If she's into candles, she probably has plenty lying around the room. It will be a nice surprise to come out to from a shower. The room smells great and there's mood lighting. COST: $0.00
5. Pick up a movie she's been dying to see. Yes, even that we consider romantic. As much as we love to watch Fast & Furious 3 times a day, sometimes we just need a little Bradley Cooper in our lives. Indulge us, won't you? COST: $1.00- $15.00
6. Rub her feet/Offer a massage. These are things that we may ask for, especially if we need it; but when you offer, it will feel so much better. That alone will be enough to take away the stress of our day.
COST: $0.00
7. Kiss her a little longer than usual. Sometimes it's all we need. A few extra seconds that tells us you still want us, just as much as you did in the beginning. COST: $0.00
8. Take her on an unexpected drive to watch the sunrise/sunset. There's something about showing us that you want to begin and/or end a day with us in your arms while witnessing such a beautiful sight. Yep, we're sappy but we love this stuff. COST: $0.00
9. Pick up a"just-because" card on your lunch break. It doesn't even need to be mushy. Sometimes a card that makes her laugh with an inside joke we share with you is enough. It shows us you were thinking about us, even in the middle of a busy day. $2.99-$5.99
10. Be creative! If you know us even a little bit, you know what makes us tick, what lights a smile in our hearts. Our favorite chocolate bar, a 2013 puppies-themed calendar, the bottle of wine we like to keep in stock.COST: You determine
These are all small gestures that I or friends of mine have experienced, and have validated with the statement. "He is so sweet/romantic/thoughtful!" Yes, in our minds, that's romance. Flowers and candy, champagne and strawberries, weekend getaways, Spa treats, etc., are all grand ways to show us that you care, and we love when you do it. But we don't need them everyday, and 9 times out of 10, we don't need the extravagance.
I hope it goes without saying, but romance is a two-way street. Take care of each other and it will fall into place.
Always,
Lady G
3 comments:
WOW! This really could not have been written any better/more clearer, especially the differentiation between media romance and real romance. Call me naive, but I feel that people, mainly men, know that these little things are the most romantic gestures; however, I feel that real problem is that security blanket (nice code for LAZY ASS BLANKET). Most have become habituated with the "security" of the relationship that they don't feel the need to do such things anymore. Yet, they wonder why things go astray and they grow apart in the future. My question would be: "How do we keep these gentlemen active throughout the entire relationship?"
Urian, thank you for the compliments. You would be surprised how people perceive romance. They do understand they matter, but they think they're poor substitutes for flowers and champagne. And yes, being overly comfortable often cause people to take each other for granted in relationships, which is unfortunate. Since relationships are work, the only solution is for both people to put in the work and appreciate each other at every turn. Women sometimes have to lead by example, but also make their needs known to their partner in a clear manner, not expect them to read their minds at every turn.
Great Piece. The examples are spot on.
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