Sometimes in life, we feel fortunate enough to meet a person, and the chemistry is instantaneous. Sparks fly. Angels sing. Waves splash in harmony. Every single thing in the universe seems to be celebrating this union. It feels right; so therefore, it must be. That is until they open their mouth to utter what you think are about to be the most seraphic phrase once can hope to hear, but instead, you hear some variation"You are soooo amazing! Any man/woman would be lucky to have you! But, I'm just not sure that we're right for each other."
I know what you're thinking...OUCH! Sadly this is something that's probably happened to you, will happen to you and at least 3 people you know (don't worry, the number 3 is completely arbitrary and strictly speculative). I have coined this common dating scenario as the "You're Amazing, but..." factor. The expression is most often completed by one of the following: "...I just don't think we're right for each other", "...I don't think I'm ready to be committed to someone", "...it's just a bad time for me. I'm in a weird place in my life", or my personal favorite, "...we'd make better friends than lovers". If you're thinking that these all seem like cowardly ways to get out of something real, it's because they ARE!!! But here's where it gets even more depressing, YOU have more than likely used this on someone yourself!
When it comes to relationship, we sometimes have the tendency to take the incomplete "sandwich" approach when trying to break things off. Compliment followed by a dismissal ( we tend to forget the last compliment to top off the sandwich, hence the incomplete sandwich). Here's what I'm thinking when I hear this line..."You IDIOT! If I'm soooo amazing, then why don't you want me!! If ANY man would be lucky to have me, then what does that make you, a dog? YOU could be that lucky man genius!! Don't soften the blow by telling me how incredible I am. You're actually insulting my intelligence! This is not a corporate deal gone bad, no need for the bureaucratic BS!"
People appreciate honesty more than we know, even when on the surface they seem too fragile to handle it. The next time you're tempted to use this, just increase you level of respect for that person, and be honest...without the sugarcoating BS. It's really not becoming of you.
1 comment:
Hallelujah! Somebody finally said what has been on the hearts and minds of myself and my girlfriends! I believe many people enter new relationships for the "newness" of the experience, but when things become serious they aren't ready for the reality of commitment. Up front communication is necessary for anything serious to take root. Great post hun! Badabababa, I'm loving it! Lol!
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